Adnan finally decided to leave when Ilaaf didn’t return,
from wherever he had gone. He waited for him for hours in his lounge. He was
taken aback when he saw the condition of the room and from what Fazal told him,
he guessed that Ilaaf would return by the morning. He did not know where Ilaaf
was or he would have gone after him.
All the servants were set to clean the room, diligently.
Adnan lit a cigarette and called Fazal to him. Fazal’s face was covered with
bruises, it was blue with the beating he got from Ilaaf. Adnan pitied him.
“I am going back to home. Inform me as soon as you hear
anything about Ilaaf, got it?” Adnan instructed him.
“Sayin, I beg you please don’t go home but find him. He was
beside himself when he left the home and it’s worrying me. He may hurt
himself.”
Adnan eyed him closely and wondered if he was really
worried or pretending to be. Ilaaf really beat him to the pulp and this man was
asking him to go and look for him, what he even meant!
“How can I tell where is he, Fazal? I cannot go and look
for him on every street. He may be very angry but he will come back in his
time. Don’t worry. And go to some doctor ASAP. You will need to take medicine
for these.” He pointed to his face. Adnan usually was indifferent to the
servants yet he couldn’t help being concerned for him. Fazal really looked in
poor condition.
“No sayien, I know Ilaaf sayien. He has never before raised
a hand on his servant. He was furious when he went out of home. Please, for
God’s sake sayien, look for him, he may hurt himself and I cannot bear it. I
talked to Qaiser sayien and he thought that this is temporary emotional
breakdown and he’ll recover, but I don’t believe it sayien, he was not in his
senses when he went out. Please you must go and find him wherever he is.” Poor
man was choking on the tears.
“You tell me, where should I look for him? This city is so
big and he could be anywhere.” Adnan was resigned.
“Sayien, go to Qandeel bibi’s house. I am sure he went
there.” Adnan’s jaw dropped open. How could he not come to the same conclusion.
Why on earth did he rule out this possibility. Of course Ilaaf would go to
Qandeel, first thing when he wakes up, to justify his position. He had
admiration for the man in his eyes, how easily he solved the predicament. “He
loves Qandeel bibi so much, I am sure you will find him there.” It angered
Adnan when Fazal took Qandeel’s name with such reverence but he let it pass.
“Alright, I will go there but it will be very difficult to
find him if he is not at her house.” Fazal nodded and went back to other
servants and got busy with them in putting the room in respectable
condition.
Adnan looked over the lounge once more. It was the same
place which Ilaaf decorated with so much care. Each piece was his selection;
showpiece, artificial plants, curtains, sofas, central and side tables, and
different decoration items. A day ago, this same place represented the splendid
taste of an artist and now it looked like a tornado passed through it. Ilaaf
didn’t leave a single glass piece in this room. Adnan didn’t have the chance to
ask Fazal how did Ilaaf manage to do this since it was not possible to wreak
such level of destruction, unarmed. He looked around and found the ‘arm’. Near
the beautiful entrance door, one of the slim iron rods, fixed for decoration,
was removed. The paint and cement from the wall had come out too, with the rod.
Adnan stared at it in disbelief for considerable time and
then called one of the nearby servants.
“What happened to it?” He pointed to a place where the rod
was missing.
“Sayien took out this rod and broke all of the glasses with
the help of it.” Adnan nodded, non-committal and headed out. Now he was very
worried. He couldn’t even dream that Ilaaf would react so violently when
stopped from going to hearing.
Those rods were firmly cemented in the wall. The animal
power was required to take it out of the wall; it defined Ilaaf’s state-of-mind
perfectly.
Adnan was clearly disturbed now. His lips were pursed and
his forehead creased. He was barely on the road when his cell phone rang.
Qaiser Lashari was calling. Hope flickered in Adnan but what he heard on phone
was enough to blow his mind.
“Dr. Khalid was not aware that Ilaaf had a row with us when
he went out. Ilaaf came to him to treat his injury. He was in foul mood when he
left the clinic and Dr. thought it necessary to call me.” Adnan vowed with
himself to find him at once now.
“Uncle I am on my way to find him. Fazal guessed he could
be at Qandeel’s house and I am going there. Will report to you if I don’t find
him there.”
“I am leaving for Karachi
at once. Keep in contact.” Qaiser Lashari instructed him and ended the call.
Adnan increased the speed of the car. Ilaaf was important
to all of them, and Adnan himself could not even bear a scratch on his closest
friend.
For the first time in his entire life did Adnan Bhatti call
upon Allah, fervently. The same Adnan Bhatti who never bothered with religion,
rules and the Creator Himself was beseeching Allah in his heart, praying for
the safety of his friend. And at that moment his heart gave in to the notion of
love. He admitted that love exists in this universe or he would never be
worried sick for Ilaaf this way.
In utter helplessness, the infidel’s yearning for miracle
brings him closer to Faith. These fifteen minutes compelled Adnan to traverse
the intellectual path spreading over fifteen centuries. The only dear thing to
him was Ilaaf in this world. The man of steel nerves could never think of
losing his dearest friend. He knew he could never survive the anguish it would
cause him, mentally at least. He didn’t want to lose himself. He wanted to
live. And his existence was tied to Ilaaf’s happiness, and he could never think
of compromise that, at any rate. He
wanted to return the favor of friendship. He did everything to take Qandeel out
of his friend’s life; now he wanted to bring him back to life, which didn’t
seem so difficult at the moment. He knew his efforts and sincere friendship
would turn him into old Ilaaf. If only he could save him this time, changing
wouldn’t take time; he thought. His mind was in a jumble. He had never before
felt the need to use his thought processes to this extent or in this direction.
Adnan saw Ilaaf’s car at the corner of the street. The
driver’ side was open and the keys were in the ignition. He switched off the
ignition, pocketed the keys and locked the door. His eyes searched the place
while he walked towards Qandeel’s home. He never before went to her house
himself but when their case was going on, he had the chance to visit this
place.
Adnan was relieved that he’d finally find Ilaaf in her home
but that made him hate Qandeel more for what she was. Earlier when they were in
court, he remembered, how she scoffed at the fact that they even had something
between them and now she had him inside her home. He was disgusted at her.
Adnan was sure that Qandeel is a notorious girl. She would not let the big
fish, like Ilaaf from her hands now that he was totally besotted to her. She
could easily exploit his feelings. The ordinary girl, with no sound background
would act exactly like that. Adnan was worried about so many things. Ilaaf’s
reckless obsession for her and his future.
He was just few feet away from her home when he saw
something that ran his blood cold. Somebody was lying on face down. His body
was half on the stair leading to the house and half lying rudely on the ground.
Adnan immediately got it was none other than Ilaaf. He ran madly to him and
tried to roll him on his back. He also saw the lock on the door but he ignored
it. “Ilaaf!” Ilaaf’s eyes were open but sightless.
He gathered his lifeless body in his hands and patted his
cheeks to bring him to consciousness. Adnan noticed Ilaaf’s body was
uncharacteristically hot and his pulse was slow, almost inaudible. He knew he’s
running a fever.
“Ilaaf, wake up, take hold of yourself. Everything will be
alright, man!” Adnan pleaded. He wasn’t expecting that Ilaaf would respond but
he did. His eyes shone with some familiarity. Ilaaf was struggling to get up.
It relieved Adnan somewhat because it was impossible for him to take Ilaaf to
the car, alone. And he was in dire need of the medical treatment.
Ilaaf stood up slowly, weakly but not once did he try to
acknowledge Adnan’s presence nor did he say anything. His manner was unusual as
if he was expecting somebody else.
Adnan was silent and remained beside him. Ilaaf stooped a
little and Adnan knew he is making sure the lock is there. Adnan saw the
bandage on his forearm and wondered how he got this wound. It looked serious.
“She’s gone.” Ilaaf’s voice sounded so distant.
Ilaaf straightened up and still didn’t look at Adnan
instead his eyes had that far away look.
“She has gone.” Adnan could still see there was no
recognition, whatsoever, in Ilaaf’s eyes.
“She left me. She rejected me.” Ilaaf’s eyes were streaming
profusely.
Somebody squeezed at Adnan’s heart. He had never seen Ilaaf
so out of his element, so barren.
“My Qandeel left me. The light of my eyes deserted me
forever. I am now blind to the world.” He started laughing in the middle of
weeping and continued to do so while his tears spilled over his face.
Adnan grabbed his arm and said, “Ilaaf bro, stay put.”
Ilaaf shrugged away his hold and stumbled. Adnan made to
hold him again but Ilaaf steadied himself and moved away from Adnan’s hands.
“She left me.” He was half crying, half laughing. “But I
was never worthy of her so that’s good that she did.” Adnan didn’t know how to
deal with him.
“I ruined her.” This time he staggered badly, Adnan tried
to give him a hand but Ilaaf fell down on the road.
“Ilaaf, for God’s sake wake up!” Adnan was near to tears
now. Ilaaf’s condition was unbearable for him. “I can’t see you like this. Stay
put.” Ilaaf slapped him squarely, the moment he completed his sentence. Adnan
wasn’t prepared for it and fell down due to the blow. He got up on the knees
and looked at his friend, hurt. Ilaaf was staring at him, his eyes bloodshot.
“Get lost from here. I hate you.” Ilaaf was hysterical.
“I am your best friend, Ilaaf. And you said you can’t live
without me.” Adnan’s voice dripped with hurt.
“You’re not my friend. You backstabbed me.” Adnan wouldn’t
have been more hurt if Ilaaf had shot him straight on the head. “You are the
reason Qandeel left me. I hate you, just go away from here.” Ilaaf cried harder
and Adnan too couldn’t hold back his tears, which he always scoffed at and
called it women’s business and shameful for men.
Ilaaf bend down and started crawling as he had no strength
left in him to walk.
“I ruined her. I orphaned her.” He was swaying on his feet.
Adnan saw his body lurch forward, lifelessly.
“I even made her leave her home.” He couldn’t stand up now.
Adnan reached for him but in vain. Ilaaf fell down and didn’t move. Adnan
turned Ilaaf on his back and Ilaaf did not fight him back because he was
unconscious now. Adnan tried to make him stand up but he felt very heavy. The
truth was, Ilaaf’s condition had weakened Adnan not only mentally but also
physically. He realized he would not be able to take Ilaaf hospital himself. He
was crying again. He was looking for his cell phone in jeans pockets when two
shadows came to him. They bent over Ilaaf, checking his condition. Adnan
recognized them; they were Yusuf Mairaj’s friends but he couldn’t recall their
names. He wondered why they were here.
“What happened to Ilaaf?” The elder one asked.
“He is injured and unconscious.”
“We should immediately take him to hospital, sir. Ilaaf is
in very poor condition.” The other man said after checking Ilaaf’s pulse.
The older man nodded his agreement and inquired about
Adnan’s car.
“It’s parked outside the street.” Suddenly he remembered
their names. He was feeling better now.
Together they lifted him and gently put him on the backseat
of Adnan’s car. Kamran Ali sat with Ilaaf in the back while Hamza Shahid rode
in the passenger seat, beside Adnan. Hamza Shahid requested Adnan to drive to
specific hospital. Adnan was in much control and he could take Ilaaf to the
hospital of his choice but he didn’t object to Hamza Shahid’s request. And
besides, they came to help him in his dire need. They asked a few questions
about Ilaaf. They talked as if they were acquainted with Adnan, which was
surprising for him. And then Hamza Shahid’s magnetic personality was also
taking its effect over him. He felt like he was under a spell.
They reached the hospital. Ilaaf was put on a gurney and
taken to ER because Hamza Shahid had already phoned the hospital. Adnan had the
impression that the personnel there was familiar with him. Doctors attended to
Ilaaf and they were sent out of Emergency. They took the chairs in the hallway
and waited.
Adnan was troubled by Ilaaf’s condition. And he would never
have been able to forgive himself if anything had happened to him. It took
seconds and his whole being transformed into prayer, for Ilaaf’s safety. Adnan
was never before so tired in his life.
He looked up at the sound of hurried footsteps.
“Oh Usman, thank God you’re here. Please ask these doctors
to hurry in whatever they are doing to Ilaaf.” Hamza Shahid rushed towards Dr.
Usman the moment he saw him. Dr. Usman told him to calm down and went inside
ER.
Every second was agonizing for Adnan.
The door to ER swung open and Dr. Usman came towards them.
“I’m shifting him to ICU. He’s not catching up with the
treatment.” He looked worried.
“Doctor – what is wrong with Ilaaf?” Adnan inquired, all
tense.
“He has been suffering from major depression. I will be
able to report more if I get his medical history. He’s injured and that’s
hindering us in treatment so we’re shifting him to ICU.” Dr. Usman patiently
explained to him.
“It will go away, no?” Adnan seemed to be on the edge of
breaking down.
“Relax young man, Inshallah he’ll be alright. He’s got a
major attack and it will take him days to recover from it but he will be
alright.” Dr. Usman reassured him.
Hamza Shahid & Kamran Ali stood with Adnan and tried to
comfort him. Adnan saw a stranger talking on a phone and that reminded him to
inform Qaiser uncle about Ilaaf’s condition.
He called uncle and told him about till Ilaaf’s
hospitalization. Qaiser uncle was in the city by this time and he said he’ll
visit him. Adnan gave him hospital name and held his position of a sentinel in
the corridor.
He would occasionally look inside through the thick glass
window on the ICU door and wish that Ilaaf could get up even if just to slap
him or scream at him. Adnan wanted to cry but no tears came. It felt so
desolating.
“Ilaaf, bro I want to see you walking & talking again.
I don’t care what you do to me. If you think I wronged you, I am the culprit
then fine beat me to the pulp and I would stand still, just get up, I beg you.”
Adnan watched Ilaaf and implored him in his heart.
He saw Dr. Usman coming out of the room and came towards
him.
“There’s no danger regarding Ilaaf’s condition. We only
need to keep him in strict observation. The time he takes to come in
consciousness will determine the course for the doctors.” Adnan was visibly
relieved to hear these words. “I think you should go home now. And it will be good
if you could bring me his medical history.”
“You will have it, Doctor.” Adnan complied and came out of
the hospital along with Hamza Shahid and Kamran Ali. They asked him to drop
them at Qandeel’s home to get their car. Adnan decided he’ll send one of his
men tomorrow to bring Ilaaf’s car to home.
When Adnan told Hamza Shahid that Qaiser Lashari would
visit the hospital, he instructed Adnan not to tell him about their involvement
in this matter. Though it was an unusual request yet Adnan couldn’t say no. In
fact he also wanted to inquire about Qandeel but couldn’t bring up the courage
to do so.
Fajr prayers were being called when he dropped the men at
Qandeel’s home. Adnan sped towards Ilaaf’s place; he needed to ask Fazal a few
things. He was well aware that there’s no medical history of Ilaaf because he
had never had the need to be hospitalized. Fazal confirmed this and Adnan was
heading back to the hospital because Qaiser Uncle was soon arriving there.
There was a cavity in his chest even on this bright day.
He claimed that he loved Ilaaf yet he never tried to
understand his friend’s true feelings. Ilaaf was in major depression for a
month now, and he was unaware of what his dearest friend was going through. He
was disgusted at himself. He always assumed that this infatuation is temporary
and Ilaaf will get over it soon. He never even tried to understand the depth of
the feelings of his friend.
And Qandeel – he thought – if only he knew what she truly means to him, he would have put
his goddamn personal opinions aside and wouldn’t have done what he did. He was
the sole reason of his dearest friend’s anguish, and he never bothered to think
about that. Adnan was perturbed. It was so unbearable just to reflect upon what
he had done to his friend, and Ilaaf never complained. These reflections were
getting too much for Adnan. The man who had never used his heart was
overwhelmed by this hazard, and when he couldn’t take anymore he switched on
the radio to smother the mental lashing.
A sweet song was playing on the radio waves and he let the
voice fill the car.
“Isey tum dil lagi
samjho magar hai zindagi pyarey,
Isey tum unkahi keh
lo magar hai banndagi pyarey…”
Adnan’s mind swam in these words and he didn’t try to
resist it.
“kabhi socho to ye
jano,
Muhabbat khwab lagti
hai,
Mager ye ik haqiqat
hai…”
The one thing he now believed with all his heart was that
love is not an ephemeral insignificant thing. And that, this unexplainable
powerful asset held the world intact.
(special thanks to Noor-e-Hira
Shamim for translating this post)
