Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Chapter no. 6: The Second Meeting (II)

He kept the mug of the coffee on the railing of the terrace and then folded his arms on his chest. The cool breeze was blowing and he found the breathing refreshing.

He moved his head up and looked the sky; felt the light of the moon very intensified. He kept looking the moon for few moments without blinking his eyes then the image of the moon was started to become unclear in his eyes. Those eyes came from somewhere and their image was fixed on his vision.

Ilaaf had seen so many beautiful girls in his life but he was found to be all time bored in this matter. Except Aleeshah, in these so many years, none of the other girls could become his friend and even in this friendship the more part was of Aleeshah. She was his class fellow and friend in convent, when he had been to London to get education of architect engineering Aleeshah also got admission in London school of Economics and hence they had kept meeting there time to time. She was well aware with Ilaaf’s nature and knew that Ilaaf only have friendship with girls when the limitations of this friendship would already be settled. Due to this behavior of Ilaaf, in London girls had always considered him as proud and rude and used to stay away from him while those who tried to be frank with him unnecessarily, Ilaaf had kept him away from them. Aleeshah loved Ilaaf and despite of knowing that Ilaaf has no such emotions in his heart for her, she was used to express her emotions time to time; was an old friend of Ilaaf and Ilaaf didn’t want to end this friendship but he had clearified it to Aleeshah that she is just like a good friend of his and nothing else….but Aleeshah knew that no other girl is present in Ilaaf’s life and therefore was still trying to get his attention while Ilaaf….he sometimes laughed on this thought of Aleeshah.

Love is not a civil service examination if not cleared in first attempt then one keeps trying again and again with a hope to pass it in a second or third attempt but then what actually love is, he could never know this because he had never experienced love. In these so many years, Ilaaf could never feel any affection towards Aleeshah so that he could be able to feel the need of any relationship with her. He had always thought that no girl could be able to get his attention.

And now for the first time in his life, he was thinking just about that girl for last three hours; was thinking about Qandeel Yousuf. Ha had felt a liking for her, in the get together that day as well; was different, having her own logic for everything. But how she had grabbed his heart and mind today, nobody did like this before.

“Tum hee ho deewangi, bekhudi ho meri

Tum hi ho dil ki lagi, zindagi ho meri”

Before today, nobody’s words nobody’s voice had set an enclosure around him like this. A smile was appearing on his lips just by thinking about that smile, the eyes whose light had scattered the illumination around him in this darkness. He was not able to think anything else and this state was so strange, he was not able to give a name to this condition. Could it be love, or perhaps no, love does not happen like this in just one meeting. It just could be his temporary affection for Qandeel then how could give a name to his state due to this reason. He had needed some time in order to give a name to this state and this feeling of his, and during this, meeting Qandeel regularly was necessary for him.

Taking the last sip of the coffee, he kept the mug on the small table behind and then keeping both of his palms on the railing, he took a deep breath.

Everything happened today was being revised in his mind in the same sequence. The confused eyes of Qandeel, her angry face, her words, her taunts. Ilaaf had teased her very much willingly; to open the layers of her personality, to understand her. He started laughing. He was become so much incapable as soon as she came in front of him and then everything had happened without any break.

It was late night. Coming inside he was just going to sleep when Rohail had called him. Perhaps he had got time now.

“You can call at morning, Rohail. I was going to sleep.” He said while having a yawn.

“You can sleep later on; first tell me what had happened to you in the party today? What were you doing there?” Rohail had anger in his tone.

“What thing are you talking about? What have I done?” He sat on the bed with a surprise.

“Should I tell you Ilaaf that what have you done?” Rohail perhaps was trying to diminish his anger. “Why were you starring Qandeel? Why were you continuously following her in the party? Initially I couldn’t feel it but later on during the dinner by looking Qandeel being worried, I got an idea about it and then I felt that probably you had asked those strange questions to her just to tease her. Isnt it like this? I was very busy even then I felt this all then perhaps rest of the people would have noticed it too.” Ilaaf breathed deeply.

“I didn’t know that everyone there is just watching me that whom I am looking and whom I am following.” This time Ilaaf replied very carelessly.

“If you will give an opportunity to people yourself then surely everybody will watch you, Ilaaf. I am just thinking about Qandeel, how worried she was just due to this action of yours and that’s why she was hesitating to go along with you.”

“I don’t know Rohail what had happened to me. I wanted not to look her face but was not able to change the direction of my eyes and that’s why kept following her all the time.” He couldn’t tell a lie.

“Yeah, I was also surprised because normally your nature is not like this. Anyway, I will go to the hospital tomorrow or day after tomorrow in order to see her father so will excuse to her for your odd attitude.” He was now behaving normally.

“Listen, Rohail. Can I go with you to the hospital in order to see her father? I want to meet Qandeel; would get a chance to meet her in this way.” He said involuntarily.

“Ilaaf……” The voice of Rohail perhaps quenched in the throat due to surprise. “What happened to you? You never became crazy for a girl like this.” He couldn’t say anything more than this due to surprise.

“I like her. She is different from other girls, there is nothing else.” Ilaaf replied with a satisfaction.

“Are you serious in this matter?” He couldn’t understand Rohail’s question that was asked very suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to marry her?” Rohail was proved to be very straight forward in this case.

“Marry……no, not.” He was puzzled on this sudden question.

“Then…..what’s all this?” Rohail had got a raise in his tone.

“Rohail, you are not trying to understand. For the first time I got attracted towards a girl but it doesn’t mean that I should marry her without thinking and understanding anything. Marrying someone is a very different thing for which we have first to understand the other person very well. I don’t know anything about the nature of this feeling neither I am aware that whether this affection of mine for Qandeel is the temporarily liking or it is everlasting. I just want to meet her and to understand her; want to be a friend of her. I want to give a name to this state of mine and take a decision, and just after then I would be able to decide that which relationship with Qandeel I want to have.” He explained it in detail.

“I can’t understand anything. This is not so easy you are thinking it, Ilaaf. Qandeel is so careful in the case of having friendship with boys. Every guy can’t maintain the standard of friendship that she has. If I and Ameen are her friends then the reason is not just that we are her class fellows but that we give her the respect and honor that she expects from us as friends. Jokes and frankness are at their place but actually we have never let her trust down.”

“What do you think that I don’t know how to respect the girls or I can’t respect Qandeel like you. Infact, I can give her a trust more than what you give, Rohail.” His tone was confident.

“But why would she make you her friend? I know her very well. Directly you don’t have any connection or relation to her and Qandeel will never make you her friend because neither are you her colleague nor class fellow. And whatever you did today, I don’t think so that she will have some good opinion about you.” Rohail was defending his point of view.

“What’s wrong if we try once, Roahil?”

“Ilaaf, you are so stubborn. Whatever you decide by heart, can’t sit calmly before fulfilling it.” Rohail replied being much teased.

“You know me, and even then are arguing with me.” He said laughing. “Acha tell me, you will take me with you to the hospital naa?” Ilaaf insisted like a stubborn child.

“Yes, will take you because convincing you is impossible.” He laughed on Roahil’s remarks.

He closed his eyes turning off the light. Before going into hands of sleep, he was still thinking about Qandeel.

Note: Special thanks to rIZ for the beautiful photograph of the coffee mug.


  1. Sipping Coffee in a cool winter evening this post start on a cool note, and Ilaaf’s various gesture where he looks up to moon and then have various thoughts about friendship, love and Aleesha, but all thoughts and all and every sentiment and emotion behind his thought is just following one object-QANDEEL. Qandeel like her name is now the only source of light in his thoughts where he sees nothing but her. The ending line also shows how he and his thoughts are in grip of only of thought that is now overcastting him like intoxication.

    In this post I saw few fine techniques, through, inner voice of artist employed in the characters.

  2. Good! Ilaaf had to say it to somebody and chose Rohail. Yup! He can be of great help. :D

    I was reading the post normally until the word "Acha" came. It was a nice change. I imagined you saying the whole line :D

    I'm glad you liked the photo.

  3. The most striking thing I noticed in the earlier part of this post is the timelessness. Ilaaf standing in his balcony (PRESENT) and he is thinking about Aleeshah(PAST) and in that past Aleeshah is actually manifesting as PRESENT and Qandeel as FUTURE. The everything transcends so effortlessly that one does not feel time as an hindrance or obstacle, but as a vehicle that transposes the characters transparently back and forth while reader stands as a spectator watching timelessness but feeling the movement deep down in his consciousness.

    Coffee as a symbol is equal to Love in modern language of signs and symbols.