Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Chapter no. 7: Desire or Lust (II)

“You were interested in Ilaaf Laashari, more than usual.” The silence that was present in the car just was broken by Kamran Ali. Hamza Shahid turned his head and looked him.

“Tell me one thing, Kamran.” Unusually he was serious.

“Yes, please ask, sir.”

“How long Qandeel and Ilaaf know each other?”

“I have no idea because Qandeel never mentioned about Ilaaf. I know the names of her all friends; she keeps talking about Rohail also but Ilaaf……I was surprised to see him there today. My personal opinion is that Ilaaf just came as a friend of Rohail.”

“Hmmmm” He kept thinking for a while then said, “How do you see the association and relationship between Qandeel and Ilaaf, right now or in coming days?”

Kamran Ali shuddered for a moment then smiled thinking something.

“I can’t say it with authority as well but idea is that neither the relationship is good right now nor it can be in coming days, however, if we talk about the future then God knows better about it.” Hamza Shahid had looked his intelligent student.

“Give me some explaination. How can you say that?”

“How many times Qandeel looked Ilaaf in front of my eyes, there was an unpleasant and disgust feeling on her face. I know her very well so that at least I can recognize her behavior and attitude in a better way.”

“And Ilaaf……” Hamza Shahid left the question incomplete.

“Perhaps, Qandeel was the only reason for Ilaaf to be there because how long he kept sitting there, the center of his eyes was Qandeel. By looking her, the shine that was appearing in his eyes and the smile that was coming on his lips, was very much surprising.”

“What name you will give to that shining and smile?” He was asking questions continuously. Before having a conclusive opinion, he wanted to discuss each and every thought that he had in his mind.

“Desire.” The smile of Kamran Ali was mysterious this time, “He has a desire for Qandeel.”

“Hmmm” The answer was just what he was expecting, “One can just reach the Love when he travels on the way of desire, Kamran. Then how can you say that in coming days, the relationship between Qandeel and Ilaaf wouldn’t be better than before.”

“I am just saying according to my experience, sir. It’s not necessary that it would be true but I feel like that. Even in my opinion, if it happened and they would have an excellent association then it wouldn’t be earlier. This unhappening, to happen will need so many days, so much time; two stars shining on two different skies have to travel a lot in order to shine at the same sky in the same galaxy; have to go far and wide.” Hamza Shahid somehow was convinced from these words of Kamran Ali. The storm of thoughts that was surging inside him, its limit was also going to be end on this conclusion.

“You have learned a lot, Kamran, perhaps what even I haven’t taught you.” Kamran Ali smiled.

“I want to know your opinion as well in this case, sir.”

“My opinion.” He thought that what to tell Kamran and what not, “I am so old now, Kamran. I don’t think about anything so deeply so that my brain can’t be out of action.” He laughed on his own words.

There was silence for a while then he decided that how much detail Kamran needs to know. “You remember, Kamran. I had told you about a dream of mine few days ago.” Kamran Ali shook his head.

“I remember; it was a strange dream, you told me very slight details about it.”

“Whatever I had told you, that’s enough for you, Kamran. Further details won’t be useful for you. However, I can tell you that who the two persons were, I watched in the dream, that’s what I didn’t tell you earlier.”

“Yes, sir. And you said that you will tell me later on.”

“I had seen Qandeel and Ilaaf in the dream.” Kamran Ali was badly surprised, and that’s why he slowed down the speed of the car. “I would have told you that moment but there were some mystifications which were necessary to solve out.” Kamran Ali turned his head and looked him, “Today those mystifications have been solved.” Involuntarily he had breathed deeply. Each time when a mystery was solved, he used to feel himself tired and satisfied like this.

“What was the mystery and how did it being solved out?” Perhaps Kamran Ali wasn’t fully satisfied.

There was silence for a while.

“Do you know Omer Laashari?” Kamran Ali smiled.

“If didn’t know him earlier then now I know him very well, sir; the younger brother of Qaiser Laashari who was a student of Saima Yousuf as well and was martyred at Battal sector near line of control.” He had shaken his head.

“Yes, younger and disobedient son of Aadil Laashari; younger but an insurgent brother of Qaiser Laashari; intelligent and beloved prince of Fatima Laashari and Ilaaf Laashari’s Chachaa.” He kept saying under an impression, “He was a very strange boy; different from his other family members; wilful in every matter and that’s why joined Pak Army despite of all resistance he faced from his father and elder brother; couldn’t find a better solution than it to save himself from feudalism and politics. And Saima…..actually she had clearified it to Omer that Army shouldn’t be joined just to bring a change in life and to keep ourself away from a field we don’t like, instead, being a soldier is a religious and professional responsibility and one has to be aware with its importance and significance in any case.” He stopped to take a breath.

“I want to ask many other things as well about Saima Yousuf and Omer Laashari, sir. On asking, sir Yousuf just said to ask from you.” Kamran Ali perhaps couldn’t stop his tongue.

“There are many things that can be told and heard about Saima and Omer, Kamran. In a very short period of their lives, there are as much to know which perhaps wouldn’t be in the longer period of mine and Yousuf’s lives, but we will talk about it someday later on.” Kamran Ali shook his head.

“Ilaaf is just like Omer in features and that’s why when I saw him in the dream then considered him Omer and remained confused that Omer is not in this world now then what could this dream mean? And today after looking and meeting Ilaaf, I understood that meaning.” The curiosity and interest of Kamran Ali was increased too much that he parked the car at the side of the road and ceased the engine. He wanted to hear everything with full concentration.

“The one I considered Omer is actually Ilaaf, and Qandeel…..I can recognize her very well. According to that dream there is a very strange very strong relationship between Qandeel and Ilaaf; to have an idea about the nature of which is impossible for me and perhaps would be for you as well.” He again breathed deeply.

“So it means, sir, that in your opinion Qandeel and Ilaaf……” Hamza Shahid raised his hand and made him to be quiet.

“You tell, Kamran. What do you think about it? If Ilaaf has a desire for Qandeel then where could this desire take Ilaaf?” Kamran Ali thought for a while.

“I can’t say anything for sure, sir. Ilaaf is the only heir of two big states, two political families; it’s not necessary that his desire would take him to the way of Love, if this desire further intensified then even can misled him towards the wrong way as well.” The guess of the genius student of Hamza Shahid was not wrong by the way; was quite right.

“Did you notice, Kamran? Ilaaf hasn’t in him haughtiness like his father, ego like his Daada and pride like his Naana.” Hamza Shahid was feeling nice to share this all to Kamran Ali. Perhaps he was the only one who could watch and understand the whole matter just like him.

“Yes sir, I felt it but……I even didn’t see any modesty, kindness, generosity, and courtesy in him.”

“I agree with this as well, Kamran. But did you look his eyes?” His tone was so odd that Kamran Ali was suddenly very surprised.

“His eyes are exactly like Omer; so that each and every impression in those eyes is just like him. There is a strange restlessness, a mysterious affection in his eyes, which can only be found in the eyes of a true lover. I wish I could make you to see that lunacy, that passion in his eyes that I looked. Agitation, curiosity, search, desire, don’t know how many things I have seen, at one time, in his eyes.” Kamran Ali squeezed his lips.

Then like Hamza Shahid was back from that state.

“Leave this all, as much as the time will be passed, everything will be clearified and we will be able to understand things in a better way.” He had smiled.

“But now I believe sir, that whatever you have observed and looked with your insight that will be true and that will happen actually.” Kamran Ali was always an admirer of his insight.

Hamza Shahid had laughed in a cracking voice.

“I haven’t said this all to you, Kamran, so that you start shaking your head and validate my words.” Kamran Ali was also laughing. “Instead, the reason to share everything with you is that you always show your personal opinion whether good or bad and due to which, sometimes I get new insights to think about; which are initially hidden and can be useful on the right time.”

“You think so much and even then use to say that I have become old and don’t think deeply so brain can’t be out of order.” Kamran Ali said laughing and then sitting in a linear manner started the engine.

“Kamran, I want to say something to you.” Hearing the voice of Hamza Shahid drowned in a thought, he moved back his foot from accelerator and then by turning his head looked Hamza Shahid.

“Yes, sir. Please say.”

“I am very old now, in real; Yousuf is also a heart patient, and used to be unwell often; after both of us, you will have to take many responsibilities and accomplish our incomplete projects, therefore, I want to instruct you something.”

“Please say, I am listening.” Kamran Ali had seen Hamza Shahid very few times, talking in such a serious tone and that’s why he had an idea about the importance of this instruction.

“If, at any point in life, Ilaaf comes to you and asks for any kind of help then don’t refuse him; whatever is the situation, just do it, whether he would be doing right or wrong, whether good or bad; whether he would have committed the most terrible crime or would have been recognized as the biggest sinner of the world; whatever it would be, just guide him; help him in each possible righteous way; never deny him, just trust him; never reject him, don’t try to stay away from him; whether whole world curses you, being annoyed from you, just be on side of Ilaaf and whatever you would be able to do for him legally and ethically, do it in any case.” His tone had something very mysterious.

Kamran Ali had heard each and every word very keenly.

“Trust me, sir. I will do so.” Saying with obedience, he had brought the car on the road once again.


  1. This first is a response to Simurgh's "The need for compassion--hoping that this is seen since the Simurgh's technical system doesn't allow my comment: Anyway, that post on the need for compassion by listening says "Not just try to identify where the other is not similar to us, but to put ourselves in their shoes and think in their perspective, with knowledge of the biasness we already possess. "...what a nice summary and guide. And let me add that your novel, Urooj, is so apt and natural at showing how the major character always seeks to improve self in all these areas. Next comment will be to this post...

  2. Wow, this chapter is full of mystery on the deepest of levels and begs for more chapters.

    I especially noted this way both these novel persons conversing had/have of weighing what they observe and perceive: "There was silence for a while then he decided that how much detail Kamran needs to know...(the mention of the dream)...Whatever I had told you, that’s enough for you, Kamran. Further details won’t be useful for you"...

    To me this shows a lot of spiritual maturity...it is the wisdom that doesn't want to show off or prophesy unless needed by the listener...knowing too much can lead astray or get in the way of what is most needed.

    I loved the tone of mutual respect each one had for the other...

  3. I am stumped at the title of this post Desire or Lust, and than I am startled at the advise of Hamza Shahid to Kamran about Ilaaf, I am thinking quite loud but I feel something profoundly dark to happen in the life of Ilaaf, how Hamza Shahid knows this, or he is just pretentious because of Ilaaf’s pedigree.

    I would not say much on the style and content as Connie has beautifully said about that and for me when she speaks that is the final word on that aspect.

  4. Connie, thank you for coming after a long time and reading my novel. I am really honored that you have given my novel, some of your precious moments.

    And then, I want to thank you for the beautiful cemments. The sensitivity with which you felt and commented about this post, is valuable for me. Please keep coming.

  5. Sir Akhtar, thank you for reading and commenting. And, yes I knew that this title will be stumping for many of us, as it was when I decided to give this name to this chapter, but in the later posts about this chapter perhaps you would be able to understand that why did I give this name.

    Secondly, I don't know that either Hamza Shahid knows this happening about Ilaaf or he is pretentious due to his pedigree, but I think both reasons are true somehow, because he still is confused about the dream to some extent.

  6. oooooooh! so this was the mystery! :D this brings us to the fact that only Hamza remembers the two faces of that dream clearly.

    I agree with Sir Akhtar here. Something wrong(according to World) is going to happen and Hamza is preparing his student for that.

    The trust Hamza has on Ilaaf is very strong! So strong that Hamza believes that Ilaaf won't be on wrong side. Impressive!