Chapter no. 6: The Second Meeting (II)

He kept the mug of the coffee on the railing of the terrace and then folded his arms on his chest. The cool breeze was blowing and he found the breathing refreshing.

He moved his head up and looked the sky; felt the light of the moon very intensified. He kept looking the moon for few moments without blinking his eyes then the image of the moon was started to become unclear in his eyes. Those eyes came from somewhere and their image was fixed on his vision.

Ilaaf had seen so many beautiful girls in his life but he was found to be all time bored in this matter. Except Aleeshah, in these so many years, none of the other girls could become his friend and even in this friendship the more part was of Aleeshah. She was his class fellow and friend in convent, when he had been to London to get education of architect engineering Aleeshah also got admission in London school of Economics and hence they had kept meeting there time to time. She was well aware with Ilaaf’s nature and knew that Ilaaf only have friendship with girls when the limitations of this friendship would already be settled. Due to this behavior of Ilaaf, in London girls had always considered him as proud and rude and used to stay away from him while those who tried to be frank with him unnecessarily, Ilaaf had kept him away from them. Aleeshah loved Ilaaf and despite of knowing that Ilaaf has no such emotions in his heart for her, she was used to express her emotions time to time; was an old friend of Ilaaf and Ilaaf didn’t want to end this friendship but he had clearified it to Aleeshah that she is just like a good friend of his and nothing else….but Aleeshah knew that no other girl is present in Ilaaf’s life and therefore was still trying to get his attention while Ilaaf….he sometimes laughed on this thought of Aleeshah.

Love is not a civil service examination if not cleared in first attempt then one keeps trying again and again with a hope to pass it in a second or third attempt but then what actually love is, he could never know this because he had never experienced love. In these so many years, Ilaaf could never feel any affection towards Aleeshah so that he could be able to feel the need of any relationship with her. He had always thought that no girl could be able to get his attention.

And now for the first time in his life, he was thinking just about that girl for last three hours; was thinking about Qandeel Yousuf. Ha had felt a liking for her, in the get together that day as well; was different, having her own logic for everything. But how she had grabbed his heart and mind today, nobody did like this before.

“Tum hee ho deewangi, bekhudi ho meri

Tum hi ho dil ki lagi, zindagi ho meri”

Before today, nobody’s words nobody’s voice had set an enclosure around him like this. A smile was appearing on his lips just by thinking about that smile, the eyes whose light had scattered the illumination around him in this darkness. He was not able to think anything else and this state was so strange, he was not able to give a name to this condition. Could it be love, or perhaps no, love does not happen like this in just one meeting. It just could be his temporary affection for Qandeel then how could give a name to his state due to this reason. He had needed some time in order to give a name to this state and this feeling of his, and during this, meeting Qandeel regularly was necessary for him.

Taking the last sip of the coffee, he kept the mug on the small table behind and then keeping both of his palms on the railing, he took a deep breath.

Everything happened today was being revised in his mind in the same sequence. The confused eyes of Qandeel, her angry face, her words, her taunts. Ilaaf had teased her very much willingly; to open the layers of her personality, to understand her. He started laughing. He was become so much incapable as soon as she came in front of him and then everything had happened without any break.

It was late night. Coming inside he was just going to sleep when Rohail had called him. Perhaps he had got time now.

“You can call at morning, Rohail. I was going to sleep.” He said while having a yawn.

“You can sleep later on; first tell me what had happened to you in the party today? What were you doing there?” Rohail had anger in his tone.

“What thing are you talking about? What have I done?” He sat on the bed with a surprise.

“Should I tell you Ilaaf that what have you done?” Rohail perhaps was trying to diminish his anger. “Why were you starring Qandeel? Why were you continuously following her in the party? Initially I couldn’t feel it but later on during the dinner by looking Qandeel being worried, I got an idea about it and then I felt that probably you had asked those strange questions to her just to tease her. Isnt it like this? I was very busy even then I felt this all then perhaps rest of the people would have noticed it too.” Ilaaf breathed deeply.

“I didn’t know that everyone there is just watching me that whom I am looking and whom I am following.” This time Ilaaf replied very carelessly.

“If you will give an opportunity to people yourself then surely everybody will watch you, Ilaaf. I am just thinking about Qandeel, how worried she was just due to this action of yours and that’s why she was hesitating to go along with you.”

“I don’t know Rohail what had happened to me. I wanted not to look her face but was not able to change the direction of my eyes and that’s why kept following her all the time.” He couldn’t tell a lie.

“Yeah, I was also surprised because normally your nature is not like this. Anyway, I will go to the hospital tomorrow or day after tomorrow in order to see her father so will excuse to her for your odd attitude.” He was now behaving normally.

“Listen, Rohail. Can I go with you to the hospital in order to see her father? I want to meet Qandeel; would get a chance to meet her in this way.” He said involuntarily.

“Ilaaf……” The voice of Rohail perhaps quenched in the throat due to surprise. “What happened to you? You never became crazy for a girl like this.” He couldn’t say anything more than this due to surprise.

“I like her. She is different from other girls, there is nothing else.” Ilaaf replied with a satisfaction.

“Are you serious in this matter?” He couldn’t understand Rohail’s question that was asked very suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to marry her?” Rohail was proved to be very straight forward in this case.

“Marry……no, not.” He was puzzled on this sudden question.

“Then…..what’s all this?” Rohail had got a raise in his tone.

“Rohail, you are not trying to understand. For the first time I got attracted towards a girl but it doesn’t mean that I should marry her without thinking and understanding anything. Marrying someone is a very different thing for which we have first to understand the other person very well. I don’t know anything about the nature of this feeling neither I am aware that whether this affection of mine for Qandeel is the temporarily liking or it is everlasting. I just want to meet her and to understand her; want to be a friend of her. I want to give a name to this state of mine and take a decision, and just after then I would be able to decide that which relationship with Qandeel I want to have.” He explained it in detail.

“I can’t understand anything. This is not so easy you are thinking it, Ilaaf. Qandeel is so careful in the case of having friendship with boys. Every guy can’t maintain the standard of friendship that she has. If I and Ameen are her friends then the reason is not just that we are her class fellows but that we give her the respect and honor that she expects from us as friends. Jokes and frankness are at their place but actually we have never let her trust down.”

“What do you think that I don’t know how to respect the girls or I can’t respect Qandeel like you. Infact, I can give her a trust more than what you give, Rohail.” His tone was confident.

“But why would she make you her friend? I know her very well. Directly you don’t have any connection or relation to her and Qandeel will never make you her friend because neither are you her colleague nor class fellow. And whatever you did today, I don’t think so that she will have some good opinion about you.” Rohail was defending his point of view.

“What’s wrong if we try once, Roahil?”

“Ilaaf, you are so stubborn. Whatever you decide by heart, can’t sit calmly before fulfilling it.” Rohail replied being much teased.

“You know me, and even then are arguing with me.” He said laughing. “Acha tell me, you will take me with you to the hospital naa?” Ilaaf insisted like a stubborn child.

“Yes, will take you because convincing you is impossible.” He laughed on Roahil’s remarks.

He closed his eyes turning off the light. Before going into hands of sleep, he was still thinking about Qandeel.

Note: Special thanks to rIZ for the beautiful photograph of the coffee mug.

Chapter no. 6: The Second Meeting (I)

“Qandeel, you will never learn how to dress yourself formally?” Seema said in a teased manner.

Both of them were standing in Qandeel’s room in front of the dressing table.

“Oh yes, like this is the only thing in this world for me to learn.” Qandeel replied laughing.

Ameen and Humaira were outside.

“Ok, just apply something on your face.” Seema insisted.

“Already have lipstick.” Her satisfaction was still the same.

“That has been on lips; apply some blush-on to your face.”

“Come on Seema, I am going into Rohail’s birthday not in his wedding.” Qandeel said very carelessly.

“Fine, then let me apply the kajal in your eyes; will look beautiful.”

“No gain at all. I am used to rub my eyes; kajal will spread and will be looking odd.” Qandeel had answer for each and everything.

Perhaps Seema had wished to beat her head. Qandeel had felt like this by looking her facial expressions.

“Do whatever you want, to argue with you is like striking one’s head to the stone.” Qandeel smiled.

“Ok please don’t be angry. Let’s go, Ameen and Humaira are waiting outside.” Qandeel had put on her sandel and they came outside the room.

Ameen and Humaira were standing in the courtyard.

“Good that you have come otherwise I was thinking that perhaps now I will have to call you. Rohail just called; was asking that when we are going to reach. I think we should leave now, we are already late.”

Qandeel took the keys and put into her shoulder bag then they came towards the door.

“Qandeel, black color always suits you very much.” She was locking the door when heard Humaira saying.

“Yeah, and that’s why the lady doesn’t feel the need to do any other preparations. Wherever she has to go; just puts on the black color dress and goes. I have said hundred times that at least apply kajal in your eyes; thunders would have fallen on everyone today.” Qandeel smiled.

“I don’t have to drop the thunders on anyone.” Saying very carelessly she moved ahead besides Ameen.

There was a place for parking at the road in front of Rohail’s house. Ameen parked the car and all four of them got down.

Qandeel held her stole and settled it on her shoulders once again.

Ameen was taking out the gifts from the car.

Qandeel suddenly looked on her left side. At some distance the white land cruiser had just been parked. Then she looked Ilaaf getting down from the car.

An unpleasant feeling grasped her.

Ilaaf took out the guitar and gift from the car; then he closed the door and turned back and then had stopped. Perhaps he had also seen them.

Qandeel looked; he was looking her.

Even in the dimmed light of street bulbs, Qandeel was able to see a strange impression in his eyes.

Ameen waved his hand looking Ilaaf. He was now coming towards them.

He shook his hand with Ameen coming near and then they moved towards the gate.

Qandeel wished to run away; to go somewhere else, anywhere but not the place where that person was going.

“Was it necessary for him to come here today? Could not be any problem come in his way? Couldn’t he be busy today somewhere else?” With strange thoughts she kept standing at her place.

“Qandeel, let’s go. Why are you standing there? Won’t you go inside?” Humaira called her and she moved slowly unwillingly.

Ilaaf and Ameen were ahead.

She was not feeling good but once they went inside everything was fine. Ilaaf was lost among so many people around and she started talking with her friends sitting aside.

Rohail was very happy; he paid special thanks to Qandeel for coming; Qandeel was embarrassed. He was her friend and their paying thanks always had made her embarrassed.

Everything was excellent. Rohail introduced them with his convent friends. She started feeling better in a while. In a crowd like this, the presence of Ilaaf Laashari was not bothering her. And what need she had to give importance to a person like him or to consider his presence bothering for her.

And then Qandeel was just attentive towards Ilaaf when some friends of Rohail asked him to sing a song but Ilaaf didn’t give importance to their request.

He was sitting on a chair at some distance to the piano that was kept in the hall and was making random tunes on guitar. He kept making tunes on a note for sometime and as soon as people were attracted towards the melody, he stopped his hand; he kept doing this.

Qandeel was listening those haphazard tunes of guitar. She just surprised how a person like Ilaaf Laashari can make so soft and beautiful tunes like this?

“Everything is possible in this world.” The last thought that came into her mind was this.

“It’s enough. Now stop playing with guitar and sing a song for us.” Everybody was attentive hearing Rohail’s words.

“I am out of my mood.” Ilaaf replied without moving his head up.

“Will be in mood; just try to begin.”

Qandeel having the glass of juice in her hand sat aside.

“What would you like to listen?” She heard Ilaaf saying.

“Some wonderful tunes and a beautiful song.” A friend of Rohail asked.

“Beautiful song.” Ilaaf repeated the words, “Beauty, charm, magnificence, what are these all words?” He was like talking to himself. Qandeel gazed him with strange look.

“Which is the most beautiful thing of the world?” Ilaaf looked all of them with a questioning sight.

Nobody could say anything.

Qandeel stood.

“We have asked you to sing a song and you are asking the question.” Somebody remarked.

“You have made a request and in order to make me fulfilling the request you have to answer my question.” His determined tone was the proof that he won’t sing without knowing the answer.

There was silence for a while.

Ilaaf moved his head up and looked them again.

“Which is the most beautiful thing of the world?”

“Woman.” Perhaps the first answer that Ameen could have was this.

“You consider woman as a thing, Ameen.” Qandeel said while looking Ameen.

The laughs were echoed in the hall.

“At least I couldn’t expect it from you.” Qandeel came somewhat ahead.

“Then answer this question, Qandeel. Only you can answer this very strange question.” Ameen replied with an embarrassing smile.

Qandeel didn’t reply; she didn’t want to talk to Ilaaf.

Ilaaf kept the guitar aside and stood. “Among so many intelligent people, not a single one has the answer for my question.” Saying in a very strange manner his moving eyes were stopped on Qandeel.

“Qandeel Yousuf, Don’t you have answer for my question too?” He came ahead.

This time Qandeel couldn’t control her tongue.

“I have; I have answers for your each and every question.” Her tone was contented as usual.

“Which is the most beautiful thing of the world?” His eyes were still at her face.

“Love.” Ilaaf couldn’t say anything in reply; even he could not because Qandeel knew he can’t refuse the answer; nobody can.

Rohail appreciated Qandeel with clapping and applause.

“If you wanna ask any other question then you can. I can answer each and every question.” Don’t know why Qandeel said looking into his eyes being so fearless that moment.

Both of them were standing in the middle of the hall.

“Which is the ugliest thing of the world?”

“Haughtiness.” She was having some fun playing this game; was feeling good while giving the exam of her knowledge and awareness and that’s why for a while she had forgotten that who is asking those questions.

“The most precious blessing of the world?”

“Freedom.”

“The most worthless thing?”

“Lust.”

“What is life?”

“The mirror of reality.”

“Death?”

“The other name of life.”

“The difference between these two?”

“A single breath.”

“If death is the other name of life then why man runs away from death?”

“Whoever runs away from death is the one who doesn’t know the skill to remain faithful with the life.”

“To whom one Loves?”

“One he should Love”

“Does it happen once?”

“No doubt.”

“And if this heart is dying for every flower like a beetle, what’s this then?”

“The sign of heart disorder.”

“Its cure?”

“Just, Love.”

“How Love happens?”

“By having desire, one who finds the desire, reaches to Love as well.”

“One who doesn’t love?”

“He should wish to love.”

“And one who doesn’t want to wish to love?”

“He has no right to call himself alive.”

There was silence for few moments. The questions were finished.

Ilaaf moved few steps back.

“You really have answer for each and every question.” He looked Qandeel smiling.

Qandeel didn’t try to smile.

Ilaaf went and sat on his previous place; took the guitar into his hands and then looked towards Qandeel.

“Rohail had told me that you play keyboard very well.”

“You too play the guitar very well.” She knew her tone was expressionless.

“Yes, but today tunes and words both have been lost. Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to sing anything. Why don’t you sing something today? Their request will also be fulfilled in this way.” With so much brilliance, he had pitched the ball into her court.

“Yes Qandeel, please sing something. Don’t know what is happened to Ilaaf today?” Rohail said and she smiled.

“To grasp tunes and words, one has to lose himself, Ilaaf Laashari.” The smile was vanished from the face of Ilaaf. “Today is Rohail’s birthday and I will fulfill Rohail’s request.” She was Qandeel Yousuf who knew the skill to play the each ball pitched into her court very well.

She came and sat with the piano kept at the left side of Ilaaf.

For a moment she gazed everyone standing in front of her. Before this she had never played the piano nor had sung any song in front of so many people but she had to do it that day.

She passed a look full of Love at piano and a smile was spread on her lips. She moved her fingers; it was a light and sweet melody which was penetrated into the hall coming out beneath her fingers.

“Merey dil men aur rooh men tum basey ban kr khushi,

Jaisey aankhon men khwaab hon, saans men ho taazgi,

Tum jo aye, na zindagi men rahi koi kami,

They andherey rahon men tum ban gaye meri roshni,

Tum hi ho deewangi, bekhudi ho meri,

Tum hi ho dil ki lagi, zindagi ho meri.”

Perhaps Ilaaf had grasped all tunes of the melody because now he was playing guitar on the same tune.

“Tum hi geeton ki khwahish, tum hi her dhun ki arzoo,

Tum hi ho dukh men rahat, tum mohabbat ki khushboo,

Ye koi Junoon hai kya,

Ye koi Fusoon hai kya,

Ye dhanak jo chahat ki hai, mujh pey ab chayi hui,

Saat rangon ki ye talab, dil men ab samayi hui,

Tum hi ho deewangi, bekhudi ho meri,

Tum hi ho dil ki lagi, zindagi ho meri.”

The song was ended; Qandeel left the piano; her effort was paid by the clapping and applause. Rohail had appreciated her especially.

She came back towards her friends.

After a while the cake was cut and then the dinner was ready.

She was having dinner sitting with Seema and Ameen and just then the heat of his eyesight had disturbed her completely. He was starring her continuously sitting aside.

Qandeel had felt herself angry very few times like how she was feeling now. She was feeling either to kick him out of the hall or to leave the hall herself.

After the dinner when she was talking to Rohail and Humaira just then Maryam called her on the cell phone.

Maryam had worries in her tone.

“What happened, Maryam? Why are you worried?” Ameen and Seema also had come there.

“What happened? Is everything alright? Tell me?” She was worried too.

“Yousuf Uncle has a heart attack, try to reach hospital as soon as possible.” For a moment Qandeel couldn’t understand anything.

“What are you saying, Maryam?” She felt her tone being quenched in the throat.

Perhaps all of them had an idea with her expressions that Maryam has told her some bad news.

“What happened, Qandeel?” Rohail had asked.

She couldn’t answer him just looked his face.

“He is much better now, just try to reach hospital.” Maryam said and just then Rohail had taken mobile from her hand.

She stood silently; was just thinking about Baba right now.

“I am Rohail, Maryam. What happened?” He was talking to Maryam on phone.

“Ok, don’t be worry. I am sending Qandeel to the hospital.” Rohail after asking the address of the hospital turned off the phone.

“Uncle is fine. Don’t be worry. Just be ready to go to the hospital.” Qandeel shook her head positively and went to take her bag.

“Ameen, I think you won’t be able to go defence right now.” Rohail looked Ameen. Ameen shook his head.

Ilaaf had come having his guitar and coat in his hand.

“I think I must go now.” He said to Rohail. Rohail had suddenly thought something by looking Ilaaf.

Qandeel came back having her bag on her shoulder.

“Ilaaf, you are going home naa.” Ilaaf shook his head like he didn’t understand anything.

“Qandeel’s father has a heart attack; hospital is in defence. Can you drop Qandeel there?” Rohail told him the name and address of the hospital.

“Ok, I will drop her.” Qandeel looked Rohail and shook her head negatively.

“I will go myself, Rohail. Don’t bother anyone.”

“There is nothing in it that can bother me; that hospital is on the way to my home.” Ilaaf replied Qandeel in a serious tone. Qandeel couldn’t say anything.

“I bring my car out of the parking, you come outside.” Saying in a decisive tone he went outside.

“I won’t go with Ilaaf.” She said to Rohail.

“This is not the right time to talk these things, Qandeel. I can’t drop you at the hospital myself, that’s why asked to Ilaaf. He is my friend; is a little bit crazy but overall he is a gentleman. I am sending you with him because I trust him otherwise I can never send you with an untrustworthy person.” Qandeel didn’t want to argue too. She was worried for Baba, so was now silent and thinking something.

She came outside with Rohail.

Ilaaf had brought his car out of the parking. Very silently, she went and sat besides him on the front seat. Ilaaf moved the car ahead.

Qandeel was silent. She had come with Ilaaf because she had no choice but she was not feeling good right now. He was looking her again and again by turning his head in short intervals. Qandeel’s eyes were on windscreen but she was able to feel; the heat of his eyes, a very strange impression spilling from his eyes.

There was silence for a while then she heard Ilaaf saying.

“Nothing could be changed just being worried, so one should not be worried. Nothing will happen to your father, he will be alright.” Qandeel didn’t answer him; she was just thinking about Baba.

As soon as the car came on the main road, Ilaaf increased its speed. He was driving the car so fast even in the traffic load and this was very dangerous. Perhaps he would be used to drive always like this but right now Qandeel was sitting besides him and she couldn’t bear it. She could never like this way to put their and others’ lives in danger.

“Drive the car slow, Ilaaf.” Qandeel said.

This time Ilaaf like didn’t hear what she had said.

Qandeel got angry. “Didn’t you hear; what I have said, drive the car slow?” Her tone was raised this time.

Ilaaf turned his head and looked her.

“Can I ask a question?” He had not slowed down the speed; was showing extreme carelessness in the case of driving.

Qandeel looked him silently; she was feeling herself very angry.

“Do you fear from death?” The question was absolutely stupid for Qandeel.

“I don’t fear to die, Ilaaf Laashari but I have no intention to die with you right now.” She answered looking into his eyes.

Ilaaf had a smile on his face like he was expecting the same answer.

“You were worried and I thought that I should drop you at the hospital as soon as possible.” He was presenting the reason. Qandeel didn’t need his reason.

“Yes I am worried for Baba but that doesn’t mean that I should consider rest of the people of the world unimportant just due to my father. How many people are walking on the road and how many are sitting in other cars, all of them are human beings like us. So, I will never wish to put their lives in danger in order to reach hospital as soon as possible.” She squeezed her lips and tilted her back with the seat.

Ilaaf changed the gear and slowed down the speed.

Rest of the way was passed very silently.

Ilaaf stopped the car at the gate of the hospital then said to Qandeel.

“Give my regards to your father for his health.” Unwillingly Qandeel shook her head.

“Bye; will see you later.” Qandeel opened the door but then stopped hearing his words.

“To meet someone, there must be a reason, Ilaaf Laashari, and I think so that there is not any reason for us to meet again.” She looked the color of his face was changed.

Very few times in her life, she used to behave in such a straight forward manner but it was true that she didn’t want to meet Ilaaf Laashari and that’s why she had replied like this without caring about anything.

Before Ilaaf could say anything in reply, she got down and came inside the gate.

And coming inside just in a while she had totally forgotten Ilaaf Laashari; if was thinking about someone then he was Baba.

She was worried and her worries just were overcomed when she discussed Baba’s condition with Dr. Lodhi, otherwise before this she was not satisfied even on the explanation given by Maryam, Kawish, Hamza Shahid and Kamran Ali.

It was a minor heart attack. Yousuf Mairaj was now shifted in the room.

And when she came out of Dr. Lodhi’s room towards the room where Baba was shifted, Hamza Shahid patting her head had said.

“Now you are satisfied, good girl, that your father is perfectly fine.” She shook her head smiling.

It was very late in night. Qandeel asked everybody to go home decided to stay herself with Baba although Dr. Lodhi had said that she can go home as well and meet Yousuf Mairaj in the morning but she didn’t want to leave Baba.

Yousuf Mairaj was sleeping now due to the injection of sleep inducing drugs.

“We will come early in the morning; take good care of Uncle and whatever would be the situation call me without hesitation.” Maryam instructed her before leaving. Then in a while everbody left one by one.

She came inside the room. Yousuf Mairaj was sleeping.

Qandeel kept looking him for a while then she bent herself little and kissed his forehead.

Sitting on the sofa at some distance to the bed, she spread her legs and closed her eyes.

Worries were overcomed and now she was feeling herself tired although she didn’t want to sleep but she was fell asleep in a while.

Chapter no. 5: The First Meeting (IV)

That day, Yousuf Mairaj had to go at Hamza Shahid’s home; there was a lecture and that’s why he had no intention to come home after the college.

It was Rohail’s birthday and in the evening, Qandeel had to go in the birthday party at his home along with Ameen, Seema and Humaira.

He had a thought that perhaps Qandeel in his absence will refuse Rohail by making some explanation, therefore in the morning, before leaving for the college, he reminded Qandeel to go at Rohail’s birthday party.

Qandeel like an obedient child shook her head positively.

Then he left for the college.

He was throughout busy in the college that day. He had to take an extra class as well; just got some free time after twelve o’clock.

Coming out of the class, standing in the corridor he was thinking something when few students of final year were gathered around him.

“There are some new books available at super collection, sir. If you have some time then please come with us to the Mall; will have some window shopping and have a look on those books as well.” Talha, Naeem and some other students of final year made a request.

Yousuf Mairaj thought for a while.

He used to go with them in different book stalls and book fairs even before this.

He had to reach at Hamza Shahid’s home after two o’clock, so he was able to give them some time.

He was agreed.

They were in the Mall after fifteen minutes. The book shop named “Super Collection” was on second floor. For a while they had some window shopping then came towards Super Collection.

It was a big rectangular shaped book shop which was divided in four narrow lanes with the help of book racks.

They were all together for a while then dispersed here and there and started looking different books.

Yousuf Mairaj was in the corner lane and moving ahead looking books. At the end of that lane there was the payement counter.

“Excuse me.” A grave and graceful voice was echoed in the pindrop silence of the book shop.

The voice attracted everybody for a while towards it.

Yousuf Mairaj had a book in his hand. He turned back and looked towards the direction of the voice.

It was the voice of the boy standing in the next lane and his back towards Yousuf Mairaj. The boy was tall and therefore Yousuf Mairaj could see his head at the other side of the book rack.

Perhaps he got the attention of the sales man and now was asking about a book to him.

His tone had maturity and seriousness.

Yousuf Mairaj again was looking different books.

“I have to give these two books as a gift to someone. Can these be packed in a gift packing?” Yousuf Mairaj heard him with interest this time.

“Yes sir. These will be packed in gift packing. You will have to wait for five minutes.” Salesman replied with courtesy.

The boy turned back and perhaps had handed over the books to the salesman.

“Then pack these books; till then I am looking other books.”

Yousuf Mairaj involuntarily moved his head up and looked the boy and then couldn’t blink his eyes.

He was just like him; exactly like him. If his hair style would haven’t little bit different then probably he would had considered him Omer. He was just like Omer.

The same shiny eyes, extended and curved eye lashes, the same broad forehead, the same long nose that was well suited on his face and the same stretched chin.

He just had kept looking him but the boy didn’t have a single look towards him.

He was very unconcerned and careless about the things around him.

He was moving ahead while looking books. Yousuf Mairaj also kept moving along the rack keeping some distance to him.

There was a panic strike in his mind. Many questions were raising inside and questions were those whose answers were already present inside him.

“Who can he be?....... Is he…..no, he can’t be him then why his face has so much familiarity with Omer?”

Yousuf Mairaj had absolutely forgotten everything around him for a while.

“Sir, your books have been packed.” He had moved ahead after hearing what salesman had said.

Yousuf Mairaj also moved ahead. The counter was at the end of the lane. The boy was now standing at the counter.

Yousuf Mairaj went and stood at the corner of the lane and picked one or two books so that no one could feel anything.

He was standing at the counter silently keeping his both palms on the counter top.

Yousuf Mairaj again looked him from head to toe.

There was not any further doubt.

“Sir, what name should be written on the receipt? Salesman was now typing on computer. The boy suddenly looked the salesman.

“Ilaaf Laashari.” Yousuf Mairaj had felt a storm moving around him.

He controlled him with difficulty otherwise for a moment he had felt like his legs haven’t any courage to stand.

He moved back few steps inside and took a deep breath.

Even in the presence of centralized aircondition, small and tiny drops of sweat appeared on his forehead.

Nobody was attented towards him in the shop and this was a blessing for him.

“So, he is Ilaaf Laashari; nephew of Omer; son of Zainab Laashari.”

He remembered; that day, twenty two years ago, when he had looked two years old child, holding the finger of Zainab Laashari when she had come to visit Saima in the hospital. On asking name, that two years old innocent, naughty and intelligent kid used to tell his name in the same way.

Ilaaf Laashari, yes he just could be Ilaaf Laashari. Whoelse except him could have so much familiarity with Omer and if he was Ilaaf Laashari then……. He couldn’t dare to think anything further.

He turned his head and looked.

He was collecting the shopping bag from the counter. The next moment he went outside the shop.

Don’t know how he had gathered all his power and came outside the shop behind him.

After taking a round from the left side, he was now going downstairs with the help of automatic staircase.

Yousuf Mairaj holding the railing kept looking him until he was disappeared.

Then he started looking around him.

There was hustle bustle, crowd, smiling laughing faces everywhere but he was not able to see anything clearly. A single face was fixed on his vision; face of Ilaaf Laashari.

He remembered Omer; remembered Saima; remembered his meeting with Zainab Laashari twenty two years ago.

“But it’s not necessary that the way I am thinking all this, things would be happening in the same way. Twenty two years are enough for a person to forget his own words; to forget his thought his idea; it is possible that Zainab Laashari would have forgotten all those things.”

He kept flowing in a wave of thoughts.

“But if it wouldn’t be like this and Zainab Laashari would have remembered everything then..” He didn’t want to think anything more. Many thoughts were fighting each other inside him.

“And if Zainab Laashari would have remembered all this even then this doesn’t matter. Ilaaf isn’t a child anymore; he is able to take his all decisions on his own. He won’t be agreed with Zainab Laashari. He would be trained by his father and grandfather; not necessary that he would be like Omer also in habits and nature.” Satisfying one’s own self is vey difficult.

“And if he would be like Omer in nature and habits as well then…..” A fear was grasping his heart.

“Even then…..Ilaaf hasn’t met Qandeel yet. Both of them don’t know each other.” He was pretty satisfied again.

“And if they met someday then….” He felt tiredness was penetrating into his fragile body.

“It should not happen. A storm will come in my daughter’s life. My beloved daughter Qandeel……how will she face all these difficulties. She never faced a single grief like this in her life then how she……”

He felt corner of his eyes were getting wet.

“Saima also kept facing storms throughout her life and Qandeel is Saima’s daughter who herself doesn’t like an easy life.”

“And Omer……which wish of his was that didn’t fulfill in his life then will not this wish be fulfilled? In his life and even after martyrdom, whatever he had wished was fulfilled then won’t this be fulfilled.”

His temptations were changing into beliefs.

“Surely, it will happen and who can delay a happening like this?”

He had reached at a result very quickly and the most surprising thing was that in these so many years he was very much satisfied with a support of a misunderstanding and today after looking Ilaaf Laashari just once; this Taj Mehel of misunderstandings was smashed just with a single jerk.

For these so many years, he had kept thinking like just be the father of Qandeel and today he had felt for the first time that he is a human also and human beings should be agreed with God’s will.

He had controlled himself in a while.

Leaving the Mall he didn’t go with his students, instead went towards Hamza Shahid’s home.

There was a mosque before, at some distance from Hamza Shahid’s home. Whenever he had come there; used to offer prayers there.

He stopped there in order to offer Zauhar prayer.

There were many few people at the moment in the mosque because congregational prayer was just ended and now slowly and gradually people were leaving.

Yousuf Mairaj did Wuzu and started his prayer.

After the prayer when he raised his hands for pray then don’t know why his vision was blurred due to the mist in his eyes.

Perhaps awareness of a reality had suddenly made him to feel himself weak and tired.

“I am agreed with your Will my Master! Just give me and my daughter enough power so that we can fight each and every difficulty. She is so pure just like a drop of dew, keep her pure like this forever. Give her the rigidness like a stone so that no pain, no strike, no smash could break her. Give her the grief which will make her unconcerned from all other sorrows of the world. Fill her heart with Your Love and give her the courage which never ever be defeated by any storm. Perhaps I can feel, I can see, I can understand whatever is going to happen and what can be happened. But I am satisfied; I know that if it happened then nothing else would be better than it for Qandeel.”

He kept praying for a while and kept crying; was feeling a strange peace by crying like this.

Leaving the mosque, he was feeling himself very light.

The war between his thoughts was ended and the mind was completely prepared to face any kind of situation.

He was now thinking just one thing.

“When Qandeel and Ilaaf are going to meet?” Because he believed that it will happen and his belief was not wrong by the way.

In life the happening of many things has been written so earlier. Man can’t change that happening therefore he shouldn’t try to change the happening instead should walk along with it side by side and should try to solve all problems of life along with this happening.

The problem of the man is that he keeps trying to stop the happening even after knowing that happening can’t be delayed or stopped. Whatever changes in his life; he never tries to accept it as a result neither the happening delays nor other problems are being solved and man just keeps complaining to God.

Yousuf Mairaj was not among those people, so that’s why as soon as he felt this happening present in his life and was going to become a reality, he had accepted it by heart; didn’t try to argue with God.

He had spent next four five hours in the home of Hamza Shahid. Among many of those people, he had passed much of his time so well.

During this he had felt single stitches twice or thrice in his left arm but he had never given importance to this ordinary pain.

After the end of the lecture he kept meeting many people in personal then in the study of Hamza Shahid a period of discussions was begun. Along with Kamran Ali, Hamza Shahid, Maryam, Kawish and Saleem, he kept talking for a while.

And then while he was talking felt like somebody has started piercing needles into his left arm.

He kept his right hand on his left arm but the shooting pain was still there. He was now feeling a difficulty in breathing also.

“Sir, are you alright?” Kamran Ali left his chair and came towards him.

“Yes, just an ordinary pain.” He answered very slowly.

“No, you are not well, Uncle.” Maryam said.

Other people also gathered around him.

The pain was spread from the arm towards the chest now and the intensity was also increased.

He tried to stand but the next moment he felt the shooting pain in his chest.

Keeping his hand on his heart, he trembled. Kamran Ali held him.

“I think Yousuf has a heart attack; we should take him to the hospital. I bring my car out and call Dr. Lodhi as well.” Hamza Shahid moved out immediately.

Kamran Ali made him to sit again on sofa and sat besides him.

“I forgot to take my tablet as well.” Yousuf Mairaj said in a tired and painful tone.

“Sir, I think we should inform to Qandeel.” Maryam said to Kamran Ali but Yousuf Mairaj held her hand.

“Not now, please Maryam wait for a while. I haven’t a serious attack; Qandeel will be worried. Let me go to the hospital and get proper check up then whatever will be the situation then inform her. She has gone into birthday party of Rohail; will come immediately being worried. Don’t call her right now.” He said to Maryam slowly in the form of short intervals.

Maryam perhaps didn’t want to argue so was silent now.

Hamza Shahid came inside then with the help of Kamran Ali he supported and let Yousuf Mairaj to stand.

He reached to the car with so much difficulty and then as soon as he sat in the car, closed his eyes.

Those one after another shooting pains had made him very weak.

Chapter no. 5: The First Meeting (III)

The room was dark even then there was illumination inside him.

He was lying on the bed and was able to feel light in his eyes which had kept his vision enlightened just with the thought about that illuminating face even in this darkness.

Four days ago, when he returned back from University then he had a misunderstanding that the thoughts about that girl will be washed out in a while from his mind, but it was just his misunderstanding. During last four days he had kept thinking about that girl in form of short intervals.

Her smile, her tone full of contentment, her unconcernness, her carelessness, her charming laugh and her shiny eyes; he couldn’t take out a single thing from his mind or perhaps he didn’t want to. He just wanted to have a quest for the secret whose presence had made her face so attractive for him. What was that magnetic force in that girl which didn’t let Ilaaf to get rid of thoughts about her.

He turned his side and turned on the side table lamp; then turned it off; then he started turning off and on the lamp like a child; he was having a strange satisfaction with this game.

Don’t know what the time was; he didn’t care. He didn’t want to think about anything else right now, just wanted to think about her with his loneliness.

And just then, for the first time in his life he got angry on himself.

Why didn’t he try to talk to Qandeel that day? May be if he would have tried then the strangeness and unfriendliness that was present in her eyes and tone for Ilaaf, would have been decreased and the opportunity for the second meeting could have become possible.

Now he was just thinking that don’t know when would be able to meet Qandeel again? Even would be able to meet again ever or not. How much he was thinking; was feeling a sense of restlessness more intensified than before.

He closed his eyes and just then his mobile started ringing.

He didn’t want to turn back and search the mobile; he had no wish even to move from his place at the moment.

Mobile was ringing continuously; he couldn’t have an idea in the darkness that from where the ringing tone was coming just knew that it would have been kept somewhere on the bed.

Finally he left playing with lamp and moving his hand behind him searched the mobile.

The call was from Rohail.

“What’s a mess, Rohail?” He said while yawning.

“It’s a mess for you but even then you have to accept it. I won’t hear refusal.” The voice of Rohail was shining.

“Speak clearly, what do you want to say?” Ilaaf was feeling laziness.

“Day after tomorrow is my birthday and you have to come in any case.”

There was a flash in his mind; all laziness and idleness was vanished suddenly.

He had completely forgotten that Rohail’s birthday is coming and he will celebrate it as usual.

A hope was risen inside him.

“Perhaps an opportunity to meet her.”

“Tell me, will you come?” He just came out of that state on hearing Rohail’s voice.

“Who else is coming?” He asked unwillingly.

“Few University friends, few convent friends and some other friends.”

“Will Ameen come?” He made his tone unconcerned; didn’t want to ask about her directly.

“Yes, just four of them will be from University; Ameen, Seema, Humaira and Qandeel; haven’t invited anyone else from University.” A sense of satisfaction penetrated inside Ilaaf.

“Alright, I will come.” He said like he is giving a favor to seven generations of Rohail.

“Ok, then will see day after tomorrow; I will wait for you; couldn’t visit you for few days; was busy otherwise would have come; you will probably be feeling bore.”

Ilaaf turned off the phone and kept on the side table.

During last four days, he had not thought once that Rohail hasn’t visited him; neither felt nor thought.

He got up and sat; was feeling an energy penetrating inside his body.

“So, he will meet Qandeel Yousuf once again day after tomorrow.” He surprised on himself; Ilaaf had remembered the complete name of that girl despite of fact that Rohail had told him the complete name of Qandeel just once when he was introducing both of them.

In any case, now he was just thinking that Nature has given him another chance and he won’t let this go in vain. He will talk to her so that could be able to find something in his search; a single point of that secret which was present in the girl like a magnet and attracted Ilaaf towards her.

Ilaaf standing opened the window and while looking the stars on the sky started thinking about different aspects which could be beneficial for him during the coming meeting.

He was thinking and far above on the sky, stras were laughing; were looking another human being starting a journey on the way full of thorns, in order to know the secret of the life; were preparing themselves to witness a show of foolishness of another man, but those stars were also unaware of the reality that in the chest of weak, stupid and powerless human being, Nature has kept a piece of flesh which has itself hidden the biggest secret of the Universe inside it. If man could ever know the secret that lies inside him then neither he remains weak nor foolish or powerless.

Exactly among those stars, whirling between the clouds, the goddess of the desire was having a look on her new prey with intoxicated smile and witty eyes. She was fully loaded with all her weapons and tools and just was waiting for her moment so that she can attack and grasp Ilaaf.